Naomi's Day Out
by Speaker for the Dead aka 17
Summary: Inane Voyager fic. Naomi has fun. Seven has fun. Janeway's plant doesn't.


## Naomi's Day Out

#### Another Five Minute Voyager Squigglet courtesy of TaTTooGaL

As told by: Naomi Wildman Dear Captain's Assistant Log (Stardate unknown),

I'm waking up early today because I'm feeling excited. Seven told me she's going to take me to the captain's ready room to see all the stuff she keeps in there. I heard the visitors once gave her a man-eating plant. At least, that's what Chakotay said, because he was telling me how he heroically rescued the captain from being eaten by it. But then Neelix told me later that he Tuvok said that Chakotay forgot to tell me that he almost fell into the captain's ready room because he was carrying a huge racket thingey. I want to see if that's true (about the plant, that is), and if it is, can I feed Icheb to it? He's _so_ irritating and he won't leave Seven alone.

  
Dear Captain's Assistant Log (Stardate slightly after unknown),

I'm in the captain's ready room. I don't know where she is, because she's not here, but Seven did the funny thingy with the buttons and the door let us in, so I suppose it's alright. Even though Seven says I shouldn't tell anyone I was in here. There's a lot of funny stuff in here. There's all these odd things in shelves on the wall. Tom told me once that they're the stuffed heads of the bad aliens who were mean to Voyager, but I'm not sure if I should believe him. There's an funny-looking plant near the captain's table, but it doesn't look dangerous enough to eat a housefly, much less someone like Icheb. Maybe I can ask him to come here and try to see if the plant will eat him.

Oh, look, Harry's here. He's looking for the captain, and he asks why Seven is in here alone. I think he can't see me. I'm hiding behind the plant. I don't see a mouth of any sort, so I think Chakotay must have been joking. That wasn't nice of him. I'm going to find a way to make a _real_ man-eating plant and feed him to it for being mean to me. After Icheb, of course.

Harry seems to be really upset with Seven. Maybe if I just push him into the plant, he'll get scared enough to leave. I bet Chakotay told him the plant eats people too.

Oops! Maybe I was wrong. The plant grabbed Harry and it isn't letting him go. Harry won't stop screaming. I hope I haven't hurt him. He's nice to me, and I don't want him to get eaten by the big mean plant. I ask Seven if I can call Chakotay to help him. Seven says no, we'll just leave him here. That doesn't sound nice. Maybe there's a knife in this room. There's a very big metal container in the back of the room. It says "Danger: Antimatter Containment Pod" on the side. Why is the captain keeping antimatter in her room? There's more. It says "Highly explosive and volatile-handle with care". I know antimatter explodes if you take it out of containment. Maybe it'll be enough to set Harry free.

Strange. I've opened the pod, but nothing's happened. I've never seen antimatter before, but it looks and smells a lot like coffee beans. And it isn't exploding. Maybe if I set fire to it? I need to find a phaser, though- oh, look! There's one under the captain's desk. It's really big though. The grownups call it a compression phaser rifle. I prefer "Really Big Gun". I think it should be enough to set the reaction going...

Wait, I have a phaser now, don't I? I could just shoot the plant with it! That'll make things a lot easier... "more efficient", Seven says. Okay, here goes....

Oops! I missed and hit Harry instead! Seven seems amused. She says that that was a bright move? Really? Now I'm confused. Seven says it's time for me to go home, before the captain comes back and "finds this mess." Whatever that means....

  
Dear Captain's Assistant Log (Stardate significantly after unknown),

It's been such a stange and tiring day. I just had dinner in the mess hall and Neelix is telling me that Harry is in big trouble with the captain, because she caught him trying to steal her secret coffee supply. Harry says he doesn't remember anything, but the captain found him knocked out by her security guard with her can of coffee open. Neelix keeps putting "security guard" in inverted commas,and he says that the guard literally _caught_ Harry red-handed. I don't know why, and I don't even know that the captain had a personal security guard. Honestly, if I'm going to be a com-pet-ent (a new word I learned from Seven) assistant, I'll have to keep more up-to-date with all this stuff.

I hope none of this has to do with what we did to Harry today. Neelix said the captain got so cross she's going to make him scrub the toilets for the next thirty days. I hope not. Harry's nice. I'm starting to feel a little bit guilty. The captain probably got more upset because somebody opened an antimatter containment pod in her ready room. I still don't get it, though. Why didn't the antimatter explode? I think I'll ask B'Elanna more about it tommorow. And to show me some more antimatter. The stuff I saw in the captain's room really does remind of coffee beans. Maybe we harvested it from the coffee nebula, or something. It was so long ago though.... But I'm tired now; I think I'll go to bed. Goodnight... Computer, end Log.

**The End** Don't tell me anything.


End file.
